Mindfulness and mindfulness meditation

Today's topic is mindfulness/mindfulness meditation.

Being mindful and ruminating
You may have heard of being mindful, as in being mindful not to scratch someone's car on opening your car door whilst parked (I notice a few people aren't mindful of watching out for this). 

In a psychotherapeutic sense a mindful exercise may involve noticing the things around you when you are walking along, such as the trees or a dog chasing its own tail.  Things you may not consciously notice. I think the idea is that your attention can be developed by transferring it from what you are preoccupied mentally with to something different. This should be a more positive/interesting or at least neutral thing (such as the dog chasing its tail).  It is helpful to be in a situation where there are visual cues such as the scenery (trees), objects that can be noticed (buildings) or people.  Something you can pay attention to.

It is important in my view if you have the habit of ruminating to divert your attention from the rumination topic and mindful activity is one way you can try.  Of course, in the abscence of any visual or aural stimuli to focus on or pay attention to (nice psychological term) once a ruminitive 'trigger' thought occurs it can be observed as such but from then on no attention should be paid to it.  

A technique thought-wise could be to transfer your attention to more interesting and pleasant thoughts, as my therapist suggested.  My therapist suggested 'ladies in bikinis'.  I, in turn, and after some consideration agreed this was indeed pleasant and also interesting thought material. 


Rumination and mindfulness part 2
But going back to mindfulness, developing the habit of awareness of something other than your thoughts that seem to be food for rumination or worry is a habit worth developing.  A goal would be to transfer the attention away from the ruminative thoughts and therefore weaken or diffuse the habit of rumination. This could be visualised as keeping the traffic (thoughts) flowing as opposed to creating or being involved in a traffic jam (rumination).

I can rememeber a thought like "Have I left the gas on?" preyed on my mind as this initial 'trigger' thought precipitated a chain of rumination because as part of my OCD behaviour an element of doubt appears even when I was certain all was well.  Because I responded to this thought emotionally (fear) this precipitated the ruminative behaviour and increased anxiety.  The false belief was that it was problem solving and not rumination. 

The technique of diffusion was useful here as introducing some element of humour seemed to do something against the rumination. I tried to make light of the situation by thinking, "I know I turned off the gas today but I will probably be roasted by my partner because I know I didn't pay the gas bill as it's still on the kitchen table."

It is reassuring that people I know who do not claim to suffer persistent OCD-type of behaviour or thoughts can occasionally be plagued by worrying thoughts such as the above. I found this reassuring and more than a small crumb of comfort as it proved to me it was not so unusual to think or feel like this and not the preserve of those who may have been labelled as obsessive compulsive.  But back to our topic of mindfulness.

A mindful exercise can also involve inspecting objects as well as developing awareness in our surroundings, perhaps to achieve much the same effects.  One example I remember was looking at a pine cone closely. I believe the exercise was to notice all of the little intricacies in its formation and appearance.  Doing so focuses your attention to it for a while. I believe this 'while' serves as a gap where distraction and a chance to 're-focus' away from ruminative mental behaviour.

Mindfulness meditation is related to this, as the refocus of attention is the common element here.  As always, you can look this up specifically on the Internet but if you are interested in trying mindfulness meditation it may be better to seek out someone who can explain and guide you on how it's done. You may learn how it can help you and also if it's recommended that you should do it.  Perhaps ask your therapist?  It was recommended for me by mine and I feel having been guided on how to do it was much more useful than just reading about it and trying to follow it on my own.

If a picture from the 1970s TV series 'Kung Fu' starring John Carradine appears in your mind when I mention meditation then that's OK, as it also evokes this kind of image to me, which I find to be just the right association and put me in the mood to do it.  I would guess in popular imagination meditation of all varieties conjures up images of ashrams, the lotus position or the the summer of love in the 1960s.  But if this image or concept doesn't appeal, you don't need to picture yourself as Grasshopper or imagine you are residing as a Tibetan monk in an ashram. No philosophy has to be adopted if you are concerned about this.

I guess Thich Nhat Hanh brought Mindfulness meditation to the Western world, sometime in the 1960s.  Later on, Jon Kabat-Zinn's work in the late 1970s with Mindfulness based stress reduction plus his books in the 1990s gave it more of an airing as a use
in the world of therapy and psychotherapy.  It has also recently become more widely mentioned and practised in the UK as the NHS are using it as a form of aid to psychotherapy for some of its clients.

My experience has found that like other forms of meditation a sense of quietness and relaxation occurs.  I believe this has been reported by most people who practice it.  The attractive thing about it for me was that no 'forced' effort is required as it would probably be counter-productive.  You just ease yourself into it and relax, man, and let the looseness slip into your bones and your brain-banana (Sorry, I couldn't resist an attempt at talking the summer of love talk here.)

Focus your attention - but gently, mind
No forcing yourself to 'quiet the mind' is required in the type of mindfulness meditation I do. One intention of it, I believe, is in some way a gentle re-direction or focus of your attention in order to achieve some kind of internal peace. I think this is an important element which is also found in attentional training therapy.  I can see how this may be useful if you have OCD types of ruminations or preoccupations as you are almost training your attention or focus on something other than the topic of rumination.

An attention therapy exercise I know of asks you to focus the attention on various sounds you can hear, alteranting between the ones on your left side and then your right, for instance.  Attention training therapy is perhaps something you may have encountered but I am not sure if it's widely used in therapy.

Relaxation exercises 
For anxiety or OCD sufferers I would guess that any form of relaxation will be welcome and beneficial.  I found differential relaxation where muscles are tightened and then relaxed to enable the contrast to be felt helps generally with helping me maintain or restore a sense of calm.  It was put to me that a relaxed state is the obvious inverse of a tense, anxious state, which I guess is fairly obvious.

It would be more accurate to describe what I do as a mindfulness of breathing meditation.  A large part of it is on noticing your breathing. There's also a claim that this type of meditation can 're-wire the brain', if this kind of image is helpful for you to imagine. I always knew my brain's internal printed circuit board needed a good re-soldering and some new cable putting in - too many dry joints!  Perhaps those neural networks can somehow restore themselves with this kind of mental 'exercise'?

If you are interested in mindfulness meditation or relaxation exercises perhaps it is something you can ask your therapist or GP/doctor about.

Compliments of the season to you :)

Being Presumptuous - suggest don't tell me!

SMILE EVEN UPSIDE DOWN

I've been reflecting on doing this.  The word presumptuous comes to mind. The way it sounds here evokes images of upholstery to me. Maybe it is the ending of the word - sumptuous makes me think of comfy sofas. 

Knoworramean? I was referring to thinking people would want to read wot-I-write (I'll stop writing like this from now.)

But...have you seen CDs or DVDs?  The ones you can still buy and in the places you can still get them nowadays (rare and rarer) invariably feature only the 'star's' mugshot on the front and the title.  I assume if you can read you don't need to also see them to know what you are buying.  Apart from a stunning lack of creativity, these guys are not ashamed of having their face all over the place as they like to be seen and heard and talked about.  Some people like themselves a lot. 

Then there are people writing books etc. advising this or that or that you should do this or that and you will be better if you do.  Any reasonable author of these works would only attempt to suggest or advise that what they propose or detail may work or be of interest to the reader and would always advise caution for the reader to use their own judgement. 

Many authors of self-help books do, as I guess it's wiser for them and as a service to their readers, as the written word can be subject to interpretation and mis-interpretation if things aren't clear (and unfortunately even if they are). If a person reads a self-help book on assertiveness without using their own judgement (and also without reading and understanding what is being said) no-one will blame the author if that person challenges a skinhead who's pushed in front of them in the chip shop queue and as a result gets assaulted!  

I read that Frank Sinatra told his advisers that they could only suggest but not tell him what or how to do things.  This blog doesn't attempt to tell the reader how to do anything.  But it offers suggestions which are based usually on my experiences. Telling someone they should do something is very presumptuous.

But it is also because I don't have the answer to my problems and am not sure that anyone else has a definite answer.  But one of the better suggestions I can make is to try things for yourself.  I have tried many forms of therapy/things and am still trying mainly because to me trying is better than just letting things roll on as they are.  

Sometimes what may be termed spontaneous remission has occurred when I haven't particularly tried anything at all and things have got better, for a while at least.  Sometimes something has occurred or revealed itself to me about a problem when I've least expected it to what was a subject of continuing rumination.

But perhaps the underlying problem was still there going unaddressed or waiting for something?

My prior beliefs about therapy needed to be challenged.  I used to hold a belief that no therapy had worked or would work.  This was not completely true, as on reflection I recalled I had actually picked up some meaningful advice from many sources over the years and not only therapeutic ones. Questioning or listening to friends, GPs, psychologists, reading self-help books, other texts plus little bits in therapy sessions have made some difference.  Sometimes even a casual word or observation may switch on the light of illumination for you.

If what you hear or what you read makes sense to you, it can also have a meaning that stays with you and may perhaps offer some practical use to you. This was important for me to realise. Once I heard something meaningful or interesting I found it was too easy for me to just put it to the back of my mind, not knowing it could actually serve a purpose if I tried following the advice, or try what was suggested.

I remember a quote in a self-help book attributed to Deepak Chopra.  To paraphrase, it was generally about how the psyche reveals the truth in the gap between our thoughts, or something like this.  I liked the image of this when I read it but it also seemed to apply to my experiences of rumination which never provide any answers for me. I remember the occasions, when in a moment of quiet, an interesting realisation occured about the 'problem' I had been ruminating about.  Without any effort or provocation this realisation seemed to expose my concerns as being false.

I found having a therapist you can work with also helps who can guide you through the plethora of approaches/advice/techniques and who can work with you in achieving some kind of resolution or aid you in the psychological problems you have.

In my reflection, I must admit to having that element of ego as discussed above, as I guess I like the sound of my own typing.  But at least there is a kind of purpose for doing this, even if it's purely as self-help and writing practice.  And perhaps for others there is a suggestion or two to take away and think about, bringing liquid into their otherwise dry day.  

To end with, I will practice what I don't preach (if you see what I mean) and suggest but not tell you (thanks Frank) that if any of the above makes any sense to you please feel free and  try something new or different, but use your judgement as well.  This reminds me of a psychotherapist's statement made to me - "You are the best psychologist you can get".

Hope things are well.



'Interesting' factoid
You can still buy those mint biscuits that used to be called 'YOYOs' or 'YO-YOs'. They are now called 'Viscount' biscuits and they still come wrapped individually in a green foil cover.   
I remember they used to do a toffee version as well but you can't get them now I think.
And yes, you can find a blog about this topic on the Internet as well.  You can still get Topic chocolate bars too. :)

Medication meditation conversation.

Bee Mark 2

The above is a better version of my bee or at least I think it is.  I can't really draw very well on a computer or anywhere really but I passed an Art qualification many moons ago.

Today's topic or rumination is medication.  The popping of pills into cake-hole in the attempt at ameliorating the problem.  This has always been an interesting topic or discussion in mental health for me and many others mainly about the effectiveness of taking medication for psychological problems.

An obvious observation is that the effects of ingesting alcohol can be immediately noticeable. Your speech may become slurred, you feel numb, ''anaesthetised' - which alcohol probably could be used for and was actually used in previous times in the history of medicine . You may behave erratically, perhaps become more lively, perhaps become or behave more stupidly.  Or you may slow right down and collapse in a heap or fall asleep in front of the telly.  You may tell your best or casual friends that you love them irrespective of your orientation in physical pursuits or you may jibber- jabber endlessly, so by the end of the night you have NO friends. Then there is the scene in the curry house but that features in the next paragraph. 

The aftermath is that there is a ringing in our head that is not the telephone but our early warning system telling us not to repeat last night's performance.  This includes that incident in the curry restaurant.

This is an extreme example to over-illustrate the power on mind and behaviour of swallowing something .  Another obvious example is taking drugs as a 'recreation', and the apocryphal and actual stories of going on, for instance, an LSD 'trip' with its hallucinogenic effects This particular recreational drug was used as a therapy I believe in 1950s/1960s detailed by some film star biographies such as the one on Cary Grant. Most people's recreation involves more prosaic trips, like to the park.

Even not ingesting but by inhalation our minds and behaviour can be affected such as the effects of smoking  substances such as nicotine and cannabis.

So perhaps with this kind of evidence, substances taken internally and otherwise can obviously affect mind and behaviour.  Therefore medication obviously has a potential to offer some way of affecting the mind in a helpful way?  

There is the classic mind and body dualistic argument that the body can affect the mind and vice versa.  But without getting bogged down, the aim of mental health medication is to somehow affect the mind in a beneficial way.  The mind is a concept we recognise that exists but which is intangible.  I mentioned the word reify before - I guess it is easier to think and to deal with the mind as part of the brain which is physically obvious and therefore address it in this way through medication.  After all, the mind could not logically be located anywhere else?

As we can affect the brain with various types as drugs such as alcohol we should be able to synthesise something that can alter moods, as surely alcohol can?  An interesting argument (at least for me) is that as in the above, alcohol can affect people in different ways.  As noted some become pacified, some become hyperactive and then pacified and some may  not even be physically able to tolerate it all all.  As I mentioned film actor Cary Grant, the stage and film actor Richard E Grant reported his role in 'Withnail and I' was difficult for him as he had to drink alcohol which makes him physically ill.  It may be interesting to you to note that if it was marketed as a prescription drug, alcohol's side effects would include that incident in the curry house as well as slurred speech, lethargy, hyperactivity, headache etc.

A difficulty reported is that certain types of psychological medication, such as antidepressants have differing level of effectiveness on people.  But this is not limited to psychological medicine as medication for physical conditions can also result in differing reactions and effectiveness between people.

Sometimes the very act of taking a pill can provide help irrespective of the ingredients, as in the placebo effect which goes along with the mind-body argument of one affecting the other.  

A question which we could apply to any therapy or even medical intervention (as we posted before) perhaps returns to "Does it work for you?"

Also going back to the 'Withnail and I' mention above, perhaps another question could be, is my medication causing me drastic side-effects? 

These questions should really be the ones the doctor who prescribed the medication to you would ask you in order that they can do something about it, perhaps changing the type or dose. 
I found it essential to report this kind of thing to my doctor when I was on medication and I would rate this as being essential with any type of taking medicine matter.

Remember to Bee careful.

OCD or Anxiety or both?

In my understanding of it, OCD and anxiety are very closely related states.  This makes it slightly more difficult  to distinguish or evaluate.  I would hazard a guess that this is the difficulty for mental health professionals and not only between the above two conditions as diagnoses is more of a precise matter in medical/surgical matters (OK, I'll admit not even then).  

Perhaps there is a need to reify* abstract concepts of mental suffering in order for mental health professionals to get a handle on what you report to them, in order to offer something that can be done about it.  Apart from referring to the DSM (see below) plus other texts and experiences of clients/patients there isn't a precise guide which follows as the problems themselves are not usually physically discernible. Mostly it is all based on what you report and perhaps how it fits into the theories and matches with what other clients report. It is not subject to the 'clinical gaze'#

Anxiety was seen as my problem as I had self-diagnosed myself as someone with OCD. However, some therapists believed it was an anxiety problem but with an OCD component.  

Perhaps the important thing is not worrying about the label or being labelled. But the label can help you identify what your difficulties are so you can follow or try what has been successful for others that have similar 'symptoms'.  Even here I've found using medical terminology an easier way to explain what I'm trying to say.

Can most of us 'be OCD' at times? Many people turn something over in their minds, may worry all day, for example, about a forthcoming dental appointment.  Being in love appears to be a classic OCD symptom, where people sit around (or even stand around) thinking of the object of their affection all day with either a big, daft grin or with their head down on the back seat of the last bus blubbing and muttering, "Why don't they love me?"  Perhaps, a mixture of both.

I suppose there is a kind of differentiation here.  Apart from the above examples, OCD-lite or OCD free people do not have the ongoing, automatic compulsive behaviour or intrusive anxiety provoking thoughts day to day which no external event appears to have provoked or elicited.

However, if you watch TV you may note how much more OCD has been featured as of late and (surprisingly to me) how much more common it is than was previously thought.  An addition to my understanding was hearing reports from friends or contacts that under stress they can display a kind of OCD behaviour.  They report finding themselves checking if things have been done, turning things over in their minds more than they usually do.

Perhaps the point I'm trying to make (!) is that sufferers of OCD and anxiety aren't experiencing something exclusive only to them as generally those not necessarily having identified themselves or having been 'diagnosed' can also display the same 'symptoms', if you will.  It is only perhaps a matter of magnitude that it may become necessary to try and formally do something to combat it, as I guess intermittent or rare bouts of anxious worrying or rumination or checking may pass by unnoticed.

Furthermore, there is always the factor that under reporting of OCD is common, due to the persistence of fear of being thought abnormal or mad if admitting to having problems with their mental life.  Although thanks to TV (As Homer Simpson would say) this effect is somewhat ameliorated due to its exposure and its recognition as being more common than previously thought.  If TV says it's OK it must be right! 


Notes and recommended reading

reify* to regard (something abstract) as a material or concrete thing (Webster's dictionary definition - I've always wanted to reference Webster's dictionary.)

clinical gaze# - apparently what doctors of old used to practice when seeing their patients return on a regular basis, as when walking into the room they could notice if they were looking better, worse, thinner.  Also, a diagnoses could be made by spotting physical signs (e.g. yellowing eyeballs = possible jaundice).

DSM - Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders 5
Perhaps not really a recommendation for the non-clinician (as the title gives you an indication of where it's coming from) but may be of interest to see what criteria is used in psychological diagnoses by psychiatry.

Hubris blowhards meaning etc.

Blowhards hubris social responsibilty


It occurred to me that hubris, derived from Greek tragedy meaning acting with arrogance and then heading for the fall could apply to people who write blogs.  I include me in this as I guess I like the sound of my own typing.  But I like writing and coming out with things that I think are amusing but of course this amusement is not always shared.   I do like the term 'blowhard' when its applied to loud obnoxious people who lack communication skills, another topic for another post that I as on-line blowhard will obviously do.

I do have a get out clause in that I can say my therapist suggested I do this as they said I can be funny and informative in the diary entries I keep for sessions.  But self-awareness and not being offensive is important for me to observe here.

Today's topic was going my perception of patronising people who you can encounter in the mental health services, therapy providers etc.  But something very important happened when I was writing this.  It was to remember to be positive, informative and light with it as going over old ground was not good for me, you or the dog. 

Viktor Frankl wrote something about finding meaning from an experience or something loosely based on that.  I believe that his take based on his experiences was that you can choose how to react to any given event, even if that event is the most dire you can imagine  (if you are not familiar with Frankl he was a Holocaust survivor).

If some blowhard is giving you plenty verbal, as happened to me recently, what you can do is to choose not to get alarmed, upset or angry.  You can do like Lisa Simpson in the Simpsons cartoon did when she wanted to escape from Homer's ramblings.  Her thoughts turned to  'and now for some music' and a piano concerto began.

Al Siebert very kindly replied to my email about handling crises like the above, perhaps inspired by Frankl, when he advised it was important how I reacted when people tried to project things at me.  I could control that part and for some very extreme examples of this read Al's books for inspiration.

It's not easy as I certainly didn't find it easy as I kept replaying the incident in my mind like a bad movie (like the one I saw yesterday).  But I had a choice although I found it difficult to do as I seemed compelled to replay the bad movie.  But moving away and concentrating or thinking about something else has worked for me. As suggested by my therapist women in bikinis. Whoops! I inadvertently missed the comma there (yeah, right) as it shouldn't be 'therapist women in bikinis' but 'as suggested by my therapist, women in bikinis'.  

My earlier point if I can now drag myself away from the last thought is also applicable to finding meaning from your therapy.  Any suggestions, techniques that I encountered or was advised of had to make sense with me if they were going to have any use at all.  Did I find it helped?

Also, I found inertia was the key factor for me in that I had to ask myself, did I actually try what was advised or recommended to see if it worked for me?
 
Plus realising that if it made sense or worked in some way did I actually persist with it?

Therapist women in bikinis is now an integral part of the revised plan for mental health services in my local area so I am now putting my name down for it.

Recommended reading 

Viktor Frankl 'Man's Search for Meaning'
Al Siebert 'The survivor personality'

Diagnosis and labelling 

It may not be useful to label yourself as if you are a sufferer of anxiety or OCD or any kind of psychological problem you may feel you are like a specimen in a petrie dish under a microscope.  In other words the therapist is looking at you as they are sane and you are obviously not.  BUT not my therapist I hasten to add!

It was my experience that a lot of daft questions were asked when in contact with the health professionals of the state funded lottery (it could be you) plus the feeling that you were no 999 on the list of a thousand.  But the matter here is the problems of being diagnosed as being labelled without being bogged down in discussions on pathologising psychological problems, in the way Thomas Szasz perhaps introduced in the 'Myth of Mental Illness'.

Sometimes medicos would opine that you were either one thing or another because it was easy to put a label on something as it makes you easy to treat (or easier).  I also remember suggesting that I was suffering an obsessional neurosis which some medicos/therapist agreed with and some not saying it was an anxiety or GAD (generalised anxiety disorder).

In a previous diagnostic encounter as I believe it was, I remember one of the state medicos who looked like one of the Buggles guys (you know the glasses guy Trevor Horn) asking me whether I had 'encounters with people of the different sexes'.  I am elbowing you as Eric Idle did with Terry Jones in Monty Python pub sketch.  Look it up on You Tube.  And why am I being cagey about a question whether I had sex with men or women?!  You can't look that one up on You Tube.

I had no idea what he was getting at, or trying to determine but I found him unsympathetic to say the least.  And then another joker who disagreed with my self-diagnosis preferring his diagnosis, some of it including the expert view of it being 'a touch of psychosis' like it was the common cold.  They were not good upstairs, downstairs and 'thank you very much Hudson'. (You'll have to know about the 1971 British TV series about this last comment which is also available on You Tube.)  If this is a bit obscure for you, it's a polite way of saying I found them insulting, obnoxious and very unhelpful when I really needed some help.

What I found useful was labelling anxious thoughts as perhaps OCD thoughts so you are detached from them as opposed to paying attention to them or taking them seriously.  You know rather like the aforementioned joker I mentioned.

Now for something sweet to eat and a hot drink.

People want jam today and jam tomorrow. You know - I think, therefore I JAM.

welcome to my world

Welcome to the first post of my world.  

It's about me and anxiety and OCD.

My therapist said this would be a good thing to do this as it may be useful - possibly helpful to you the reader and to me the writer?

Things will be safe here as no innocents will be named, no frightfullness will be included and no dollar bills requested.  Just my experience with anxiety related problems and half-baked and fully baked theories I've read and absorbed or tried to apply.

NO cheese on my hamburger you know.

As for the above I should be OK as you can't libel yourself but you can label yourself.

Remember where you read this first as I'm not going to search for it on the T'internet.

Please contribute but bee polite and respectful because I like polite company and if you bring cake even better because it goes with my latte.

This is a bee:










BEE POLITE